Friday april 15th 4:37 am,
I cant sleep. somehow my heart wont let me... my head is swimming, and I close my eyes to a sea of emotions that I cant really describe. I dont think I want to sleep. At least I think that, if I did want to sleep it would be easier to do, but it's not. I am just sitting here hoping that exhaustion is capable of shutting my emotions down before they shut me down too. stories and scripts occasionally drift through my conscience, allowing a momentary relief from what's plauging my heart, but they are all too brief for any real sleep. I dont know what any of this means, I dont even know which emotions I am feeling, but my subconscieous is definitly trying to tell me something important.
I'm out of words for the time being.... I have to be up in an hour and a half, i know sleep won't come. but some how i also know that I will be fine. It's reassuring, but not enough, to allow the level of comfort neccessary for sleep. If I am a mess for the next few days you know why.