The mirror says all
I just wanna ask for some fairness, no appologies this time.
I think I know why no one wants to talk to me...
It's because somehow everything I do, is the wrong thing. I just seem to find the absolute worst thing ever and say it. Even keeping my mouth shut isn't the answer, because the people I say nothing to, are all too happy to not speak to me. There are many people out there who avoid me at all cost, whom I can actually understand their reasons for avoiding me like the plague... But this doesn't mean I think any of them have good reasons; their reasons just strike me a stronger.
Too many people actively avoid me when they can, and then lie about it when they cant; yet somehow this doesn't bother me as much as I would think it should. I am used to fair weather friends. But the other day, for no reason at all, I was deemed to be not just unwelcome or unnecessary, but unfit to live.
So I just wanna ask "What makes any of you worth judging me?"
I have loved more than most of you, and am willing to give all for my friends, but some how this makes me a burden.
Currently, I don't feel like pretending that some of you care. If you do, you know; if you don't, you are probably reading this and wishing I would just shut up. I am more than upset right now... I have had my feelings trivialize too many times. I need to move on with my life and find some real friends, who will be there!
I always include in every post, a comment on how Ana is the truest of all my friends. Its true, she is. I just am not allowed to see her, and I fear for the only real friendship I have ever known... So I am more critical of those who act like all my other friends are...
I know its a horrible idea to post what you actually think and feel on these things (especially with names) but; Eloy, can fuck himself if he wants to threaten me. Becca, Should look in a fuckin mirror, and the rest of you should do something other than log off when I say "hi". I am not angry, just tired of these things happening everytime I try to have friends.
I think I know why no one wants to talk to me...
It's because somehow everything I do, is the wrong thing. I just seem to find the absolute worst thing ever and say it. Even keeping my mouth shut isn't the answer, because the people I say nothing to, are all too happy to not speak to me. There are many people out there who avoid me at all cost, whom I can actually understand their reasons for avoiding me like the plague... But this doesn't mean I think any of them have good reasons; their reasons just strike me a stronger.
Too many people actively avoid me when they can, and then lie about it when they cant; yet somehow this doesn't bother me as much as I would think it should. I am used to fair weather friends. But the other day, for no reason at all, I was deemed to be not just unwelcome or unnecessary, but unfit to live.
So I just wanna ask "What makes any of you worth judging me?"
I have loved more than most of you, and am willing to give all for my friends, but some how this makes me a burden.
Currently, I don't feel like pretending that some of you care. If you do, you know; if you don't, you are probably reading this and wishing I would just shut up. I am more than upset right now... I have had my feelings trivialize too many times. I need to move on with my life and find some real friends, who will be there!
I always include in every post, a comment on how Ana is the truest of all my friends. Its true, she is. I just am not allowed to see her, and I fear for the only real friendship I have ever known... So I am more critical of those who act like all my other friends are...
I know its a horrible idea to post what you actually think and feel on these things (especially with names) but; Eloy, can fuck himself if he wants to threaten me. Becca, Should look in a fuckin mirror, and the rest of you should do something other than log off when I say "hi". I am not angry, just tired of these things happening everytime I try to have friends.
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