Sometimes I say "shit". It's one of those word that describes most of the situations I find myself in. "Shit" is a utility swear word, it's good for both the cussing, and discussing of a given situation, item or time in my life. Right now I am completely sure that their will never be a word as pleasing as the word "shit". In fact I'm so impressed with how "shit" has covered my ass (no pun intended) in those situations that words often defy, that I wish to dwell upon the word.

SHIeeeaT!
Satisfying isnt it? It just seems to make one feel like you can control the situation the same way that we would control the flow of air over our tounges. Whether its a silent utterance of defeat, and cry of exasperation/pain, or a bellow of anger. "Shit" is just satisfying.

I'm not sure what prompted this post, but frankly I dont give a shit. I dont know, sometimes you just gotta get your shit together. Maybe I'm full of shit... but I feel better for having gotten that shit out'a my system, and into the open.
I hope you understand. I wouldn't want to be up shit-creek without a paddle. lol. :)

currently...

Thursday, April 29, 2004
current clothing: paint jeans, christmas boxers, nothing else
current mood: motivated
current taste: apple strudel
current hair: short
current annoyance: Car insurance
current smell: feet :(
current thing you ought to be doing: cleaning
current jewelry: the only necklace I ever wear
current book: "for hearing people only"
current refreshment: twist
current worry: car stuff
current crush: gotta say Ana, but not like that
current favorite celebrity: brad pitt
current longing: to be able to function
current music: Roulette. system of a down.
current wish: That I had better insurance
current lyric in your head: "To me, coming from you, friend is a four letter word. End is the only part of the word, that i heard. Call me morbid or absurd, but to me coming from you..." Cake. Friend is a Four Letter Word.
current makeup (if you're a girl!): nada
current regret: my love life.
current desktop picture: a schoolgirl cartoon. devil on one shoulder angel on the other.
current plans for tonight/weekend: fri. clean, get car, fix dads truck, help rich, work. Sat. sleep, help rich. sun. begin to film "Any onther Way"
current cuss word: shit
current disappointment: i havent finished my screenplay, or finished cleaning
current amusement: kill bill soundtrack
current IM/person you're talking to: myself... Im not crazy i swear
current love: life
current obsession: expression, expressing my self.
current thing or things on your wall: bulletin board, pics of friends, jack daniels calendar.
current favorite book: The Giving Tree. Shel Silverstien
current favorite movie: the ones im writing.
current saying: "better isnt good enough"
current guilty pleasure: skipping every song i dont like in the playlist

Guilty Pleasures

One of the guilty pleasures of watching a Quentin Tarentino film is the soundtrack. Currently I am enjoying the soundtrack to "Kill Bill vol. 1" immensely, it has got to be some of the most satisfying ear-candy I've ever crossed wires with.

This CD could carry me through finals and probably well into the summer, without ever coming out of my CD player. I recommend it to anyone who digs soundtrack music. hell, I recommend it to anyone who digs music!
the joys of a listen have yet to let me down; there is not a single song I've been compelled to forward through, or change. Musically, it is ok, yet something about the CD calls to you, and you must obey it. It's like a general purpose soundtrack to life.
He does this with every film he makes... Even some films he didn't make (Desparado anyone?). While his films can be an acquired taste, his soundtracks cross all lines and stand on their own. It amazes me, and I would like to celebrate this CD.

Now, if only he could make a movie that I enjoyed as much as his soundtracks!

ABC's of me!

for once I tried to answer everything instead of skipping the parts I didn't think would interest anyone.

Animals: one Cat
Best Friend(s): Ana, nuff said. also Q, Richard, and Roach
Cohabitants: nada
Desire(s): general happiness, to be good enough, not better, better isn't always good enough. (Ana gets this)
Eye Color: black. some would call it brown, but thats a recent development
Favourite Foods: strawberries, Ruminoff (sp?) sauce, Bacon, pancakes, and Guinness. what a meal, also the O'malleys porkchops, garlic potatoes, rice O'rielly, and a gin and tonic twist of lemon from Bennigans.
Games: blackjack, craps, lottery, smash bros
Habits: Falling in love
Interests: Reading, politics, history, photography, falling in love, performing
Job: professional student, Starbucks barrista, possibly Barnes and noble coffee shop barrista
Kitchen...wonder or blunder? I cook like you would never believe... its fun as long as I can use a gas stove
Languages: English, some Spanish, ASL. (perhaps French next)
Most valued possession: my talents
Name (named after?): I was gonna have one of two names, either John Wayne (don't laugh), or Shane, but the dog was named shane... I know its an Indiana Jones thing.
Outfit you love: my paint jeans, boots, and a shirt (no preference) with a jacket
Pizza toppings: Cheese. Sometimes pepperoni and pineapple, occasionally sausage too.
Question asked to you the most: not sure, possibly something about coffee, or my day
Relationship: I get the "I think of you more as a friend" thing more than id like to remember
Sport to watch: hockey, or soccer. Speed climbing when I can find it
Television show(s): The Daily Show, Conan, news, music videos
Unsavory characteristic: stubborn to the point of foolishness; yet too softhearted to hurt those I care for even when they hurt me
Video: the Bella Luguosi, Dracula
Webpage: You're lookin' at it.
Xylophone (or other instrument): im trying to teach my self the violin
Year born: 1982
Zodiac Sign: Taurus. It's that stubborn thing

wow, 37 of the greatest books ever... not bad. I think I'll read more

I copied this from Kelly, just copy the list to your blog and "bold" the titles and authors of the books you have read on the list.

This is a neat literary meme. Listed below are some of the greatest literary works ever. Copy and paste this list and bold all the ones you've read.


Beowulf
Achebe, Chinua - Things Fall Apart
Agee, James - A Death in the Family
Austen, Jane - Pride and Prejudice
Baldwin, James - Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel - Waiting for Godot
Bellow, Saul - The Adventures of Augie March
Brontë, Charlotte - Jane Eyre
Brontë, Emily - Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert - The Stranger
Cather, Willa - Death Comes for the Archbishop
Chaucer, Geoffrey - The Canterbury Tales
Chekhov, Anton - The Cherry Orchard
Chopin, Kate - The Awakening
Conrad, Joseph - Heart of Darkness
Cooper, James Fenimore - The Last of the Mohicans
Crane, Stephen - The Red Badge of Courage
Dante - Inferno
de Cervantes, Miguel - Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel - Robinson Crusoe
Dickens, Charles - A Tale of Two Cities Dostoyevsky, Fyodor - Crime and Punishment
Douglass, Frederick - Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass (some...)
Dreiser, Theodore - An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre - The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George - The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph - Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo - Selected Essays (again, some...)
Faulkner, William - As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William - The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry - Tom Jones
Fitzgerald, F. Scott - The Great Gatsby
Flaubert, Gustave - Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox - The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von - Faust
Golding, William - Lord of the Flies
Hardy, Thomas - Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Hawthorne, Nathaniel - The Scarlet Letter
Heller, Joseph - Catch 22
Hemingway, Ernest - A Farewell to Arms
Homer - The Iliad
Homer - The Odyssey
Hugo, Victor - The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Hurston, Zora Neale - Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous - Brave New World
Ibsen, Henrik - A Doll's House
James, Henry - The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry - The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James - A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Kafka, Franz - The Metamorphosis
Kingston, Maxine Hong - The Woman Warrior
Lee, Harper - To Kill a Mockingbird
Lewis, Sinclair - Babbitt
London, Jack - The Call of the Wild
Mann, Thomas - The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel García - One Hundred Years of Solitude
Melville, Herman - Bartleby the Scrivener
Melville, Herman - Moby Dick (tried, but only got halfway through.)
Miller, Arthur - The Crucible
Morrison, Toni - Beloved
O'Connor, Flannery - A Good Man is Hard to Find
O'Neill, Eugene - Long Day's Journey into Night
Orwell, George - Animal Farm
Pasternak, Boris - Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia - The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan - Selected Tales
Proust, Marcel - Swann's Way
Pynchon, Thomas - The Crying of Lot 49
Remarque, Erich Maria - All Quiet on the Western Front
Rostand, Edmond - Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry - Call It Sleep
Salinger, J.D. - The Catcher in the Rye
Shakespeare, William - Hamlet
Shakespeare, William - Macbeth
Shakespeare, William - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Shakespeare, William - Romeo and Juliet
Shaw, George Bernard - Pygmalion
Shelley, Mary - Frankenstein
Silko, Leslie Marmon - Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander - One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Sophocles - Antigone
Sophocles - Oedipus Rex
Steinbeck, John - The Grapes of Wrath
Stevenson, Robert Louis - Treasure Island
Stowe, Harriet Beecher - Uncle Tom's Cabin
Swift, Jonathan - Gulliver's Travels
Thackeray, William - Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David - Walden
Tolstoy, Leo - War and Peace
Turgenev, Ivan - Fathers and Sons
Twain, Mark - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Voltaire - Candide
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. - Slaughterhouse-Five
Walker, Alice - The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith - The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora - Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt - Leaves of Grass
Wilde, Oscar - The Picture of Dorian Gray
Williams, Tennessee - The Glass Menagerie
Woolf, Virginia - To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard - Native Son

22 years of refusing to die :)

Well, I have survived one more year. I have defied those who would destroy me once more... I even overcame myself a few times.
there were moments when life was a minute to minute challenge; but those are behind me now. I can look back and say I tried the strength of even the strongest friendships (gladly those were stronger than even I ever thought they could be). There were times when I fought tooth and nail against my soul and my conscience... And I'm proud to say I lost.

and I owe everything to my friends, they are truly my reason for being.

Much to do about nothing

Hello all:
long-time no see. Sorry, I have been out raising hell and then stoking the fires. It seems to be a seasonal thing with me...

I am in the mood for some trouble... Does anyone have any ideas. I feel like I could take on an army. I don't know why, but I seem hell-bent on finding a summer passion. This always spells trouble for me. ;) If you don't believe me, ask Ana about the last 30 or so times I felt like this. I'm currently not sure if my passion will be self centered and possibly self improving, or more extroverted and involving some form of social life, possibly even a woman.
all I know is that I am about to go do something.. And as usual I can only foresee myself doing something stupid.

Must be something in the air, or maybe just hormonal.

Summer Hobbies

The Following is a General Invite:
Tony, Justin, and I have begun to play ultimate frisbee in the parking lot of the Starbucks we work at (281 & 1604) ALL ARE INVITED

Games usually begin 30 mins after the store closes for business on any given day. all are invited regardless of skill level. we will be playing at least once a week, for the duration of the summer. We play at night, so the weather is good and we have a glow-in-the-dark frisbee. bring shoes you can run in.
IT'S DEFINATLY GOOD TIMES. BRING FRIENDS IF YOU SO WISH.
Thanks,
Shannon
peace, love and chicken grease.

Something to kill the last few moments before sleep... Pun intended

Some of these things some of you never knew; other things I just never said to anyone before. Now im going to sleep. Talk amongst yourselves, then send me any questions... That's it for now

Last cigarette: Perhaps three, four months ago
Last car ride: rode w/ Jordan to ride bikes at Mac
Last kiss: hopefully I'll get a Bday kiss this year
Last good cry: maybe 2 months ago
Last library book checked out: Closing Time by Joseph heller
Last movie seen: gonna see Punisher tomorrow
Last book read: The Giver
Last cuss word uttered: shit, or fuck
Last beverage drank: beer
Last food consumed: mashed potatoes
Last crush: Ana, or Esther
Last phone call: voice mail
Last TV show watched: espn
Last time showered: 1:30am tonight
Last shoes worn: Docs
Last cd played: Blues mix
Last item bought: mints
Last annoyance: one of my coworkers who wont let me talk to the girl I like
Last disappointment: Dropped the frisbee tonight
Last soda drank: coke
Last thing written: page 22 of my script "Lucky"
Last key used: house key
Last words spoken: goodnight, sweet dreams, I love you.
Last sleep: woke up around 130pm
Last IM: Tony
Last sexual fantasy: too many
Last weird encounter: The kid who stole a bottled water
Last ice cream eaten: kahlua and Mexican vanilla form Amy's Ice cream
Last time amused: playing frisbee this evening after work
Last time wanting to die: not gonna answer that!
Last time in love: I'm always in love...
Last time you hugged: earlier tonight, or yesterday... im too tired to remember
Last lipstick used: What ever the last girl I kissed wore
Last shirt worn: Starbucks building community shirt
Last time dancing: at work while making bar drinks
Last web page visited: Banana's Page
Last poster looked at: Nosferatu, the Vampyre. old movie poster.

sorry about the crappy post

Apparently formatting doesnt transfer when cutting and pasting onto a blog.
Without proper formating the whole paper looks like ass. Sorry. It's a better and more eloquent read than it appears to be, but not by much. I keep reading it and wanting to change parts.
I hope it doesnt suck as much as the feeling in my gut says it will. Meh, I should really do better.

-Shannon-

Everything to say about nothing... here's the paper I got a 100 on

Shannon O’Dowd
ASL 1. Hull, Melody. TR.
Deaf Prez Now!

Deaf president now! Never has a silent cry so echoed so long in my head, as when I heard the silent cry of Gallaudet University. It was impossible to not be moved. While the cries of protest were, in reality extremely vocal, the message they carried was one of resounding silence. The university is the top school for the deaf and the frequently called the equivalent of a deaf Mecca (or holy place). In the previous 124 years, Gallaudet has been a university that has been run by an entirely hearing population, despite this, it remained the premier center for deaf education in the US, and many would contend the world.

The primary reason that the deaf president now campaign was of such importance to the world of both hearing and deaf alike; was that it was more about the right of American citizens to lead their community regardless of their ‘disabilities’. In a society that values equal rights as one of its founding principles, the choice of a hearing president for a deaf university, was as appalling as the election of a dog to congress. It seemed no matter how many times the deaf community proved itself to be capable of managing its own affairs; the ‘Helen Keller mentality’ remained. It was as if the board of trustees at Gallaudet had said to the student body that “An education from Gallaudet will take you far in life and teach you to be fully independent… as long as no one rearranges the furniture.” That mentality of helplessness is was to blame for the students’ lack of will to end their protest and compromise.

In conclusion, I believe that the deaf president now movement, will be traced back to being one of the most important non-congressional acts of the civil rights movement ever. I know these words are strange to hear, but all of the great moments in American civil rights over the years have some how involved an act of congress. The deaf president now campaign was one of the few civil rights movements to ever succeed solely based upon the will of the American people. The racial and gender movements of the 60’s while successful took more than the will of the people to become a reality, they took acts of congress. Race and gender still are among the most often overlooked rights in America, despite constitutional backing. Though the deaf community still has far to travel before it is free of the burdens of historical ignorance, the deaf president now campaign promises a bright future for the deaf of the world.

Bubba Ho-Tep

new Bruce Campbell Film out...
It's Called Bubba Ho-Tep. All should see it. Here's the trailer.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/bubba_ho-tep/large.html
that is all for now.

New pics

I have added some pictures of my carwreck. I am currently facing an uphill legal battle to maintain my rights as a consumer, and keep my once beautiful new car in the same shape I worked so hard to pay for. So please don't ask what happened... The Internet is not a place to speak with abandon.

To see pictures of the damage; click in the 'My Photos' icon in the upper right corner of you screen, then open the 'My Pictures' album.



Also, take a gander at the pictures I found worthy to post, based upon their artistic merits, then leave me some feedback. I like to hear good things about my work; I even like to hear ways to improve my work if nothing good can be found to say.

That's all for now.
I found a 65 T-bird I might buy if the Jetta cant be repaired.

lots to say...

Wow so many things to say... and im too tired to tell them.
but seeing as I finally have good news, here's a brief list:
I got a 100 on my signlanguage paper. I must say its my best writing in a while... and I also had a short, but good, conversation in sign language with a deaf customer that came into my store on weds.

I finally met a girl that I like, who isn't younger than me.
She's 24 and named Valentin, (yes it's spelled correct) I have no chance at all, but it's a great feeling to get out of the slump I was in. She's a weapons designer for the military, and isn't what anyone could picture me with, but still we talked for several hours tonight. Perhaps that's what makes anything possible. More to come on her as anything develops... Even though I know it wont.

I might finally get my car back... I'm sorry I cant answer questions about what happened till the situation is remedied, the internet isn't a place to freely publish information of sensitive nature. I am also looking at buying a set of nice tires and 17" rims for my car. They are from my friend Jordan's old BMW 3 series and should look great on my car.

Also, I am looking at getting a second job this summer. I want one outside that will help me get stronger, such as working at a plant nursery or other job with heavy lifting involved.

Lastly, I rode bikes with my friend Jordan today... I didn't do great, but I rode better than when I had ridden with Ana. I also did my first real drop today. I think that, with a little practice I could definitely ride with all of them, on the easier trails. Perhaps one day I will even be as hardcore as Ana... But for now I was just happy to not chicken out of the drop only drop I did try; and especially proud of the way I didn't panic both times I almost crashed Jordans bike. Staying calm saved both me and the bike.

the same damn survey as the rest of you

yup...another survey
ok..so i took this from Ana, who got it from kelly...who took this from hutto
what can i say, kelly...i agree w/ ya surveys are cool!! :)

1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"is down." its Go, Dog. Go! so the the sentence really says "the yellow dog is down" but its split between to lines.

2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
My glow worm form my childhood

3) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
news

4) WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.
1120pm

5) Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
1228am

6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
metallica 'outlaw torn' from the S&M cd

7) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I sat in the woods tonight before i came home staring at the moon and thinking things through

8) Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
media player

9) What are you wearing?
my movie shirt, and pj bottoms

10) Did you dream last night?
im sure i did...but i dont remember anything...didnt sleep much

11) When did you last laugh?
its been too long.

12) What is on the walls of the room you are in?
posters of cindy crawford, james dean, liquor bottles, movie posters, and a buletin board with pics of my friends

13) Seen anything weird lately?
the moon changed colors right when i realized what i needed to do

14) Last movie you saw?
big trouble


15) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
film stuff, a car to replace the one that got hit by the drunk

16) Tell me something about you that I don't know.
i miss my dog more than anyone ive ever known except ana

17) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
let no one go unloved, and make treating a woman badly a crime punishable by death

18) Do you like to dance?
yeah, as long as im comfortable doing it

19) George Bush:
which one?

20) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
either Shannon or Ana

21) [Same question for a boy]
Shannon or James


22) Would you ever consider living abroad?
only in ireland

NEW LINKS

I know I've had this thing for a while now... but I finally got around to adding the rest of my friends pages.
If i missed you lemme know. thats about all.

So, yeah Shannon is poor.
about that, my birthday is shortly around the corner.

Now before you think im asking for anything. STOP. That's right stop, while I will never turn down the generosity of others that's not why im posting. instead I seek your opinions.
It occurred to me the other day, that I haven't really had a birthday party in a good number of years. And I was thinking about the possibility of having one at my house.... Enter the dilemma, first for those who don't know my parents it would be interesting to see their reaction to my assorted friends, ranging in age from high school freshmen (I think) to college students seeking their 3rd or 4th degrees. My college friends drink (understandably) and when we are together for special occasions, such as a birthday, we have thrown parties requiring a week of recovery and at least one lost person. My high school age friends don't drink, in fact some are so well behaved they scare me.

The redeeming chance to get all of them together lies in the fact that my older friends are, with few exceptions, in the company I work for, and we are beginning a new project the day after my birthday. So its possible, but not plausible, to believe we could throw a party with out serious consequences. But this would also be very little fun.
so should I throw a party? Or not?
either way I still plan on celebrating and a party at my house for everyone, with no alcohol is unacceptable.
My parents would ID everybody at the party and then proceed to kill all the fun even if no minors had alcohol. (I can guarantee that some of my younger, less well behaved friends would drink) I guess the real dilemma is that I want to have my birthday cake and eat it too. See... I really want to see all my friends, but a lot of my friends travel in groups. And a lot of these groups include people I was more than happy to think I would never see again.



Just a clarifaction... If I still talk to you when I see you,
then you are not one of the people I have no wish to see.

At least I have my birthday off from work...